mal’s Weblog

Assigning a document an earlier date than when the document was actually created. This is often illegal.


This means that if the year ends on December 31st and i’m a sales incharge hoping to get a bonus if i reached sales of say 100,000 by December 31st, but fall short of my target by 1000, then i would be backdating cash receipts that i actually received in January the next year if i dated them as before or on December 31st, so that i can show that i reaced my target for this year and thus am entitled to a bonus.


Let me look up what would happedn to these January receipts if i recorded them in December but recieved them in January…

{June 29, 2009}   The m list

Sway – Michael Bubley *spelling*

I like to hold your hand – the Beatles

{June 28, 2009}  

every sunday, i feel a fresh wave of…

{June 16, 2009}   Calling all Pakistanis…?

They say you should not wash your dirty linen in public.

When a couple is newly married, they are religiously trained by others to keep things under control and married life happy by trying to resolve as many husband-wife issues as possible between the two and keep all bad tastes hidden from the world.

And many such examples.

Why then, do we as a nation not follow this smiple piece of advice? Why are we the first to splash blood and gore that results in our house (country) all over TV screens? Why does the enthusiasm of our TV channels to be the “first” ones to have “exclusively” captured the news (which ironically is splashed over all news channels) blind us to the fact that we as a nation are wasing out dirty linen in public? Do you see India doing that? They are the most similar nation to us, we can and should adopt their posiotives. Do we see China doing that? They are another neighbor we should learn from. We should learn from Iran if noone else!! That is one nation that i believe has the most to offer us in terms of how to live proper-er life.

Whenever there is a bomb blast (and that is the ‘in thing’ these days), we see our economists to financial gurus to politicians pointing fingers at each other rather than do something constructive. In fact, they actually plant bombs themselves and reach there in time to diffuse it and then propagate the efficiency of their political parties. (Ref. Yesterday’s example – read today’s paper).

whenever there is a new budget, we are the first ones to point fingers at others’ flaws, rather than have done our own job propoerly.

And all this is happening on around 5-10 channels simultaneously, most of which, if not all, are being aired internationally.


{June 14, 2009}   make up your mind already

so there’s this guy who went to jail for some crime and his punishment was either eat a hundred of the strongest onions or take a hundred lashes. He opted for the onions, and after two three he decided it wasn’t as easy as he thought, so he said he’d like to switch. They let him switch but after a few lashes he couldn’t take it anymore and fainted. He asked to switch back and was allowed. But after a few more onions he could see he was crying that hard from the strong onions. So he opted back for the remaining lashes. And so he kept alternating between the remaining onions and then the remaining lashes, and thus ended up with both punishments!

I searched online, and found a few tips on how to be the right kinda bitchy when the need arises. Exactly what im looking for. Here these tips are, and i will keep updating this post.

There’s something  here:


Then there’s something i found on

and here is what it says:

The next time this person says something bitchy to you, throw it back at her. I don’t mean insult her, but call her on it. As in “You know, it doesn’t take any less effort NOT to be bitchy.” The best way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them, call them on what they are doing and don’t back down.


A simple “My aren’t we being rude/grumpy/bitchy today!” has worked for me in the past or a “I see you are flexing your inner bitch/inner witch today, well done!” or “I see your parents forget to teach you any manners and social skills” don’t shout it, but say it loud enough so you can be heard – hopefully by a few people including your bitchy bitchy person. Good luck.


I think the first step to being bitchy is to be selfish and think of the self first. Given that almost everyone is out to do that anyway, even if it means trampling on others’ rigths and feelings, it shouldn’t be that bad to ‘get started’ at least. Lie that you dont have what a bitchy person asks you for, like a pen, then take one out ans start using it in front of them. Call someone right after you told this bitchy person you don’t have credit when they asked you for some. Meet their eye, let them say hi, then ignore them totally. Meet their eye, let them know you’re looking at them, then bend toward a friend on your side and say something, then look back at them (the bitchy person), laugh at appropriate intervals and times. Say oh hey, i like what you’re wearing, i bought my driver’s daughter the exact same thing cos it’s just so cute – or something like that; say this to people who deserve this of course. Do this to people who do this to others without them deserving it. Hang up on them or walk away mid-converstaion.

I guess little things ike this will keep them from picking on you as often as they would have otherwise. Just need to be creative i guess.

{June 13, 2009}  

I dont think he is meant to carry a phone. From charger issues to phone issues to water entering the phone, it’s as if every phone he touchs is destined to quit functioning. Or at least give him hell :p

{June 13, 2009}   Karachi Strike

Ok so just cos someone important became the victim of some stupid suicide bomb blast, the followers of this someone important can close down the whole city!?

Jin k ghar main subha fresh doodh, anday, double roti, aati hai, un k ghar main nashta na ho?  Worst, jin ki roz ki basis pe kamai hoti hai, un k ghar main sara din khana na pakay?

Baray tou chalo bardasht kar lain gay, but bachchay?

Just cos someone died. Someone who died in the name of Religion – a religion that i bet does not propogate kepping the rest of the city hungry and lost just cos someone in a position of power/respect/name died.

I do not by any means mean to disrespect this maulvi sahab, Allah unhain jannat naseeb karay. But c’mon guys where the hell are your senses? The whole goddamned CITY?

Kisi ko urgent basis pe dawayyon ki zarrorat par sakti hai, ya kisi k ghar main khane k bartan girne ki waja se un k ghr main khanay ki ashad zaroorat par sakti hai, what the hell is wrong with you guys?

In the morning when i woke up, well it was afternoon actually, but point is k 1 bajay tak bhi fresh doodh aa nahin saka thha. Subha ka nashta kisi ne nahin kiya thha and then we started making roti’s tou humaray doodh walay ne kisi tarha kar k doodh laa diya. Humari tou khair hai, un ka kiya jin k ghar k qareeb nahin hai doodh wala ya bakery wala ya gosht phal wala?

May you feel exactly what it’s like to feel helpless. Aameen.

Contrary to popular and convenient belief, Laila, of Laila and Majnu, had very dark skinned. Nowhere do people mention this fact as religiously as other facts.

mal: Does music transport you to some scene in your head? Does it make you smile with tears in your eyes as something within you craves to be dancing already? That kinda goosebumps

Riza: I am not a girl (and some more stuff)

mal: It had nothing to do with gender. You just insulted the goosebumps. Now apologize.

Riz:  I’m sorry.

{June 10, 2009}  

I must sing. I must sing or else i’d die. The relationship between myself and the voice that needs to be heard and recognized runs deeper than family ties, thicker than blood, and stronger than power itself.

It has to be better than even sex when music evolves right within you as you listen to it, making you smile with a tear in your eye, and goosebumps ripping at your skin…your mind curving in a dance in the moonlight and water it imagines…

I admit: jealousy, plain outright jealousy burns me up and i cant think straight when i see people my age making the news already with petty stuff!!

{June 8, 2009}   the first daughter

Finally he became the father of a daughter today. Ha, a ‘daughter’? Here’s his real test now. I knew Allah mian will avenge him for me in His own sweet patient way. And in turn, He will avenge them all. The other two, as well as the last one.

This newborn will be so ashamed of being his offspring. I wonder what, if anything at all, he has told his poor wife. If he had any guts left to, that is. Unless he has been shameless.

Oh wait, he can’t have guts. If he did, he would’ve picked someone his own size, someone on equal grounds, and picked someone for some valid reason. He didn’t, of course.

How dare he smile!?

{June 7, 2009}  

i wanna sing…

and paint and design…and dance…

{June 7, 2009}  

I just saw this guy on some really stupidly desperate indian matrimonial reality tv show, where the “client” is describing what kinda wife he wants. And he says that she should have this celebrity’s hair and that celebrity’s cuteness and all. But that description aside, i realized that people characterize the personality of celebrities based on their onscreen appearance and performance and all. As in, a life partner should be someone who matches your temperament and all – his or her looks and high-maintainance life style aint gonna (in most cases) fill your life with matrimonial bliss. And i dont even need to say this. Guess i’m just irritated at the desperate-ness of that show :s

{June 6, 2009}  

I dreamt i was strangling someone. Twice..

Did i like it?

I wanted to strangle that someone. I was hating her as i strangled her. I dont know about the strangling itself…i think i liked it.

I think i was trying to kill my old self….if not my..some relative

Trying to chill :p have nothing much to do. Basicaly waste time. From sat i plan to visit this friend, fina, often. Her mother cooks like heaven :p plus she has a collection of books. Plus she’s not updating me about things unless i meet her! But i know i’ll get bored of that within a week max. We used to be four. Two now, are busy getting married so it feels kinda weird just fina and me.

I went shopping two days ago, basically emptied my tiny new bank account, so am waiting for orders to earn. That’s how i’m spending my summers.

As for the project, i’ve applied in a few places and asked a few friends and relatives to keep a lookout, so hoping for an interview soon :p inshAllah.

{June 3, 2009}  

my sister often runs out of useful things to say.

(though i must commend her attempts – she keeps saying something in hopes of ending up saying something of worth)

{June 2, 2009}  

maliha will die for what she believes in.

{June 1, 2009}  

i just decided. i’ll start maintaining a diary about it, i’ll record all flashbacks and negative feelings stemming from the past.

et cetera
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