“I don’t know how to meet people..as in, greeting with hugs and kisses etc..
As in i consider that something very fake and overdone when everyone does it with everyone..i’d rather mean it when i do it, and i can only mean it with you or some long-lost true friend that i really like…”
“However, I’m not hurt or anything. It’s more like I’m getting to know me all over again or better…as if I’m coming to terms with myself..just wanted to share this with you cos you’re an important part of me…and this is an important change i’m going through…”
There was this one time i was pretty depressed about something from the past that has a way of coming back to me every now and then, and i messaged a friend about my condition. She asked me to just say what was on my mind, and i typed a long 4-pg message to her. The minute i had sent it, i felt like a weight had been lifted off me already. I messaged her this too, “You know, i think all i needed to do was get it out of my system, i feel way better already”
She said, “Ok-kay…that’s a nice summarization of it all :p”
So then i said, and it made utter sense, like derivating a curve and then derivating the derivative and keeping at it till you’ve nothing left to derivate,
“So like…you keep summarizing summaries until there’s nothing left…? Cool :)”
will i never get over the guilt..?
when the heart aches in depression, it’s as if something’s sucking at your soul from within…
maybe that’s the best He meant for me, but then, He could’ve done better, cos whatever He’d have done would’ve still been best cos He‘d have done it…
it hurts you know…it kills…
i actually did the whole of my laundry, put it up for drying, then got me some food, after which i had tea, and then i realized i hadn’t even added washing powder to the laundry!
